even have been cured had I continued with him, but several details in my life regarding my family, my sentimental situation, etc., weakened my willpower.

So, when I came to this city I looked for a new doctor. I learned, however, that not all doctors were as understanding and "simpatico" as the doctor in my home town! I learned that many charge high rates for no results! One doctor even prescribed a drug which eliminated my libido. I quickly stopped taking it . . . and seeing him!

I dressed every day, completely. I spent the days looking out of my window, where I could see the passersby and some (occasionally) could see me. This continued until my brother and his wife came to live with me. Then, I lived inside a suitcase and came out of it only during occasional visits to a lonely hotel room in another city. My suitcase often resided in the baggage department at the train station! I had no difficulty in passing as a guest at the various hotels I visited. Always I searched for others such as I was, but during many years I had no luck. I often felt intense loneliness, even though I was among thousands of people. I sometimes drove my car to a cemetery late at night, where I could run and play with freedom and carefree delight.

I decided to look for a wife.

I met my wife by correspondence. Gradually we grew to know each other, and then I visited her. While I tried to tell her of most of my weak points, I did not tell her of my TVism because I thought that being married would cause me to forget my bad habit of liking feminine clothes. Since I was sure this was the answer, I again burned all my feminine clothing.

Barely two months passed after our marriage when I felt the old compulsion returning to bother me. One day when my wife was out and expected back rather late, I took advantage of the

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